Home
 
Previous | Memories | Tell a Friend | Next
 
olga
o_yannik
01 December 2006 @ 07:52 pm
Year of Hell - Chapters Ten and Eleven  
Title: Year of Hell 10/12, 11/12
Rating: T
Warnings: mentions of suicide, suicidal attempts;
Spoilers: Lay Down Your Burdens - “Missing Year” filler;
Character/s: Lee Adama, ensemble;
Beta: [info]ammonite7
Disclaimers: the characters and the universe of “Battlestar Galactica” do not belong to me;
Summary: I believe there was more to the weight gain, and Lee’s bad moods, than just misunderstandings with Kara Thrace. And I wish Kara at least tried to be Lee’s friend;
Author’s note: Read and please let me know that you did.

Chapter Nine

Year of Hell – Chapter Ten
TWO WEDDINGS, AND…
---
“Is this your handwriting?” Riana Balder asked, handing her CO some paper.
“Probably not,” Lee admitted. It looked more like Dualla’s. The XO chuckled slightly, and Lee shot her a glance. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing. It just seems that you and our comms officer are getting really close.”
“I stopped making a secret of it couple of months ago.”
“I know, but this… This is more than just fraternizing. You two are starting to behave like a married couple!” she giggled at the thought.
From the first moment she stepped out of the raptor from New Caprica, Lee had noticed a change in her.
“Vacation suited you,” he observed. She looked up at him with her bright questioning eyes. “You had a good time down there?”
“Great,” she admitted, and cast her eyes downward, as if not wanting him to see everything that was there. But then she changed her mind and started talking. “The settlement is a terrible place. It’s cold, dirty, people are hungry. But most of them seem to be happy. They are free at last. Free from running from the cylons, and free from the ships they were imprisoned in. They have hope; they believe in the future.” She gazed at him earnestly. “You should go there too, you’d see that it is all worthwhile.”
“I will,” Lee answered half-heartedly. “Not just yet, but I will. Eventually.”
They sat in silence for a moment, all the reports laying before them on the table. Finally Riana sighed heavily, and took the next from the pile. And a strange thought occurred to Lee.
“You’re not going to move down there, are you?” he dared to ask.
“Oh, I couldn’t leave you with your girlfriend as your XO,” she chuckled in response. “That would make things completely counter to the rules.”
---
After his CIC shift ended, Lee came into his quarters and was startled by the sight of Dee engrossed in paperwork.
“You don’t have to do all that, you know.”
“Yeah,” Dee smiled. “And leave it to you? In a few days you’d bury yourself, and what use would I have of you?” She stood up, stretched her back, and neared him. “There are some other things I have in mind for my man, besides than sitting at his desk,” she said, stroking his chest and looking into his eyes.
He leaned down and kissed her.
“But this is not your job,” he reminded, encircling her with his arms.
“It’s not? So are you going to sit here instead? And what will I be doing in the meantime?” she asked seductively.
Lee squinted at her. “Well, actually…” he said apologetically, “I’m on my way to Galactica - for a meeting with my father.” He felt really awful, seeing disappointment evident on her face.
“Alone?” she asked for confirmation, turning away and approaching his desk again.
He felt so bad for her. Those dinners at the Admiral’s were the only distraction from an otherwise boring life on the battlestar. Lee knew how she enjoyed them. Furthermore, he wasn’t really thrilled with the idea of talking to his father alone.
“Get dressed,” he said. She cast him a surprised glance. “Well, I can’t turn him down” he explained. “But I sure as hell can take you there to have some fun, right?”
She smiled beautifully in answer, and ran to the back of his quarters to put on her dress uniform.
---
Adama was clearly surprised to see both of them entering his dining room, but requested a third cover immediately. Then they sat, ate and talked. Midway through the meal the atmosphere was still pleasant, as Dee and the Admiral recollected some anecdotes from old times. It was even nice when they started comparing CAG Apollo with the late Ripper. There were so many memories; it seemed that times of stillness allowed them to resurface more and more rapidly, after the long year of pursuit, when nobody even dared to think about past time.
“But Galactica has never had a worse CAG than it has now” Bill Adama stated suddenly.
Lee quickly swallowed a mouthful of spaghetti. “Gray may not be very experienced, but he’s working hard” he said then, sticking up for the newly promoted pilot.
“The fact that Starbuck recommended him, doesn’t mean he’s doing his job” the Old Man eyed his son coldly. “You of all people should be able to see it.”
“So what are you saying?” Lee went on the defensive.
The Admiral looked at his subordinate and sighed. “I want to replace him with Kat,” he declared, well aware of the objections that would arise.
“Kat?” was all Lee could articulate.
“Have you listened to the wireless lately?” the older Adama growled. “Kat is authoritative, collected and thinks fast. She'd make a good Commander of Air Group.”
“Kat used to take stimms” Lee reminded. “How do you know she’ll hold under pressure?”
The Admiral gave his son a glare. “That was a long time ago,” he said. “She’s strong, she's risen above it.”
Lee just shook his head. He didn’t like any of this, but trying to change his father's mind once it was set was like yelling at the wall. So instead of talking, he focused on his meal.
“The only reason Starbuck recommended Gray,” interrupted Dee, “was because she dislikes Kat.” Both men’s eyes turned to her, and she just shrugged. “Everyone knows of their resentments.”
Lee sighed. Dee had a point, but that didn’t make the situation any clearer.
“You shouldn’t just change the CAG because of some… I don’t know,” he stammered. He found it hard to rationalize his arguments. Because Dee was probably right.
“Dee is right,” the Admiral voiced his thought. “And Starbuck is no longer here. I’ll promote Kat, she's proved herself worthy.”
The statement was so forthright, it almost felt like a blow.
“If you had already made your decision” Lee whispered, “why are you asking my opinion anyway? Whatever I say is irrelevant.” He kept his voice steady, but deep inside he felt his guts twisting. He no longer was hungry, in fact he was afraid he might throw up.
“I wanted to hear your opinion,” the Admiral stated matter-of-factly, returning to his spaghetti and clearly enjoying it.
“Well, so you’ve heard it” Lee hissed. “Do you have anything else you wanted to hear my opinion about and neglect it completely?”
“Lee, stop this” Dee gasped.
And Bill looked up at his son, quite startled. Put his fork aside.
“I’m not neglecting your opinion,” he said slowly, looking at Lee with wonder. “And as the matter of fact there was something else I’m deliberating on. We need a decent evacuation plan for New Caprica.”
“Evacuation plan? I’m not sure I follow…”
“None of us trust the cylons” Adama started explaining. “That’s why we're here - we think we could protect everybody on the ground. But the truth is, all we have are outdated plans from the times of pursuit - patched, rewritten and adjusted to the new situation. We need something completely different. A plan created anew from the core. And I want you to start thinking about one.”
Lee gazed at his father for a long time. This was some nonsense! He couldn’t think of any other way to name this whole idea.
“What are you talking about?” he gasped finally.
Bill looked up, once more startled away from his food. Apparently he thought it was obvious, and was shocked to realize his son and second-in-command didn’t share his righteous opinion. He took his time figuring out the reply.
“I’m talking about New Caprica, Commander,” he finally began, sighing. “About all the people, and all the ships stranded down there…”
“Exactly,” Lee cut in. “They are stranded. If a cylon fleet shows up, do you really expect there would be anyone or anything to evacuate from the planet?” he stared at his father and saw confusion in the Old Man’s eyes. The mighty Admiral thought those fools could be saved! Lee knew better than that. “If we wanted to protect them, we should have arrested them on those ships and continued our search for Earth. But they had a choice and they made one. It was to trust the cylons – those same ones who exterminated ninety nine percent of humanity! If they find us and come here, they’ll just shoot a few nukes before we even have the time to blink. And then it’ll be all over. What evacuation plans do you need?”
The silence that followed this outburst was dense and awkward. Both Dee and the Admiral looked at the table, obviously uncomfortable. The truth always made people uncomfortable, but they had to face it. They had to understand!
Dee looked up, and put a strand of hair behind her ear. She wanted to say something, but she cast a quick glance at the older Adama and changed her mind. Lee didn’t catch the meaningful stare of his father, but then his girlfriend got up and excused herself, saying she needed to got to the head.
When they were left alone, Bill exhaled from the bottom of his guts.
“Lee,” he started, but was interrupted.
“I’m sorry.” The son shook his head. “I know I was blunt, too blunt maybe. I just don’t see the point of… of helping people who don’t want to help themselves.”
There was a moment of silence again. And then the father asked very softly, “You’re still angry at her, aren’t you?”
Lee looked up, and in his Dad’s eyes he saw genuine compassion… and something more, something that made him cringe inside.
“It has nothing to do with her,” he whispered through clenched teeth.
“Lee,” Bill started again, and for some reason shot a glance behind his back, where Dee had disappeared into the head. He continued in a soft voice. “There was a reason I asked you to come alone today… I have news, and I’m not sure how you’re going to take this. But I’d rather you found out from me, before...” he sighed. “She called me yesterday.”
Lee didn’t say anything to that. He stared at the table, at his unfinished pasta, thinking that his father couldn’t possibly expect an answer.
But apparently he did. “Kara,” he specified. “She called.”
“Hope she’s doing fine,” Lee whispered. Would that be a hint enough for his father to drop the subject?
Obviously not.
“She and Anders got married, Lee.”
There was no reaction to that. With absolute shock, Lee realized he felt nothing. The news didn’t make him angry, or miserable, or furious, or absolutely enraged.
“Good for her,” he articulated easily.
“Lee, I just thought…” Bill started and hesitated.
Then the hatch to the head opened and Dee came back, and there was no room for discussion about Kara any more. Lee sighed with relief.
“Cold spaghetti is uneatable,” he remarked as the woman he loved sat opposite from him.
She gave him an incredulous look, then gazed questioningly at his father.
“What did I miss?” she asked.
“We reached an agreement” Lee stated, before the Old Man had a chance to say anything. “I’m going to think about evac plans. Which means we should be heading back to Pegasus; there’s a lot of work.”
The Admiral nodded silently, looking at his son with concern. Dee muttered something about unfinished dinner, but Lee reminded once more, that once pasta got cold, it lost all the flavor. Not waiting for her, he strode out of the Admiral’s quarters.
Dee caught up with him in the corridor.
“You didn’t reach any agreement!” she accused, grabbing his elbow.
“Quite on the contrary” he said. “We did. And I’m going to do exactly as he wants.” Jerked his hand free and marched away.
“But you didn’t agree,” Dee persisted when she caught up with him once more.
Lee didn’t answer. Of course she was right again, but there was no sense in telling her something she already knew.
While on the raptor, Dee tried to get him to talk. She said something along the lines of “you shouldn’t argue, he’s your father," but he paid her no attention.
His father only saw what he wanted to see. He was a dreamer, who just didn’t want to accept the reality of this. And the reality was – Lee knew – that reality was dark. He couldn’t quite name it, but he felt… He knew, there was something dark just lurking around the corner. Bill Adama only saw what he wanted to see; it had always been that way. He’d thought Caroline enjoyed being the wife of an officer, until she’d told him she was no longer going to live like this. He’d thought his sons were better off with their mother, but they hadn't been. He’d thought his sons' only dreams were to become viper pilots, until one of them died, and the other… the other was supposed to love commanding a battlestar…
When they entered the Commander’s quarters back on Pegasus the first thing that caught the eye were tons of paper, paper that Lee needed to read that evening. Then he should begin to come up with some idea of how to protect the grounded civilians in case the cylons attacked. He was not looking forward to any of it.
“You know why I agree with him?” Dualla asked, standing at his desk and staring at all the work waiting for them. She looked up, and answered right away. “Because he wants to give his crew something to work on, some meaning to all those pilot maneuvers. Purpose. Faith, hope. All you do is bring them down,” she accused, and struck a chord.
“Maybe that’s because I don’t have hope!” Lee countered with anger. “How can I give something I don’t have?”
She gazed at him and the look on her face turned from reproachment to compassion. Even pity. Then she turned away. She couldn’t answer that, every time their conversation touched the subject of his emotional state, she shut down. He didn’t mean to make her uncomfortable, or helpless. He regretted each word he said, but he couldn’t help how he felt.
“I wish I could…” Dee whispered, absently leafing through the papers. “You need some help with that?” She indicated his desk finally, despair in her eyes. If she couldn’t help him in any other way, she could at least help him carry the burden of command.
Lee sighed and nodded. He tried to smile reassuringly, as he neared her and held her in his arms. “It’s a great help actually. Thank you.”
And then a thought occurred to him. He remembered Major Balder’s comment about them behaving like a married couple, and about everything about them being against the rules. The rules were gradually changing, fraternization was no longer regarded with such disapproval, but sharing quarters with his girlfriend could, in fact, be a bad example. And that could easily be changed.
“Dee… Anastasia, “ Lee began hesitantly, looking into her eyes. Her brow rose in an unspoken question. He inhaled deeply, and holding her face in his palms, asked. “Will you marry me?”
He had startled her – that was obvious. For a moment she couldn’t find words, and then she gazed at him sheepishly and her beautiful smile widened. “First of all,” she whispered, coughed and repeated in a clear voice. “First of all, you can call me Dee. I’m used to that and that’s more my name now, than Anastasia. That one is awkward, I know. Second… or rather should be first, more important and all…” She smiled again, her eyes sparkling. “Yes, Lee, I will marry you.”
And then she kissed him, he kissed her back, and they held onto each other tightly, lovingly. And Lee couldn’t quite explain why her answer, her love, her closeness… made him so sad. So enormously, immeasurably sad.
---
The ceremony, performed on Galactica, was small and short. Admiral Adama asked for a blessing from Artemis Limnatis and Hera Teleja – goddesses who care for the household and married couples. The fruit, a small apple, that Lee gave his wife, was the only ritual element. They weren’t even dressed in traditional chitons, but in their dress-blue uniforms. Then there was a dinner with the Tighs, and after that they returned to the Pegasus.
A few days later, Major Balder handed her CO her resignation.
“Why?” Lee asked. He wasn’t pleased to see her go, he had learned to like her and trust her over the months they spent commanding the Beast together.
“When you assumed I had a good time down there, you were right,” Riana admitted. “I met someone. You know, as in… someone important. I want to be with him.” She waited for the Commander to respond, but he only stared at her request, with a distant sense of déjà vu. He brushed it off when she added, “You know, I guess your marriage kind of made me realize…”
“I know,” Lee cut in. “Alright” he sighed, and put his signature on the resignation. Handed it to her.
“Thank you. If I could make a recommendation for an XO position…” she hesitated and smiled. Lee thought he knew what she was going to say. “I think you should promote Ensign Dualla to Lieutenant… I know it’s a little low ranking to be an XO, but…”
“I know” Lee smiled in return.
“Yes. She’ll make a great XO, I think she already has experience.”
“Yeah, she does.”
“Good. Then at least I know I’m leaving my Commander in good hands.”
“You do.”
“Will you come and visit someday?”
“Yes. Yes, I will, sure. Someday.”
“I’ll be expecting you. So, this is a goodbye.”
“This is a goodbye.”
---
t.b.c.

Year of Hell – Chapter Eleven
MORE OR LESS
---
“You know what day it is today?” the Admiral asked gruffly, as his son stepped through the hatch. There was no "hello, son, how are you?" or any other greeting. Just this startling question.
Lee gazed at his father, standing before the bookshelf, unexpectedly dressed in his tank-tops and sweatpants with a glass of ambrosia in his hand and that somber expression on his face. He wondered what he’d missed? It was way past the anniversary of the attack on the Colonies; it wasn't Colonial Day. It wasn't his Old Man’s birthday; there were still a couple of months remaining. It definitely wasn't his own birthday; his Dad wouldn’t be so grumpy about him forgetting it. So Lee didn’t know what day it was.
“No,” he replied.
His father smiled, with his lips only; his eyes were sad.
“We have been orbiting Caprica, we have been at peace, exactly one day longer than we were fleeing the cylons. It doesn’t feel like it, does it?”
“No,” Lee admitted. It certainly felt like then had lasted years, and this – only a few weeks. “So peace prevails now.”
“That’s right. That’s how it seems.” The Admiral was lost in thought. “And we feel safe. Too safe.”
“What do you mean?”
The Admiral sighed and turned away from his precious books. Put his unemptied glass on the table and picked up a set of papers.
“Have you read Kat’s reports form the latest CAPs?” he asked. “The pilots are lazy. Have you seen the corridors? Two lamps on this level alone are out of order. CIC staff plays triad on the DRADIS console, cannons are stuffed, and these evacuation plans…” he indicated a document, and Lee recognized his own handwriting on the cover. “These plans are a bunch of crap.” He threw them across the room.
“Evacuation itself is a bunch of crap,” Lee countered. He felt like he had been hit across the face.
“I’m sorry,” Bill sighed, and leaned on the table bowing his head.
Lee was startled. He’d never seen his father vulnerable. Not ever. He didn’t know what to say. Just a moment ago he had been angry, wanted to retort, fight, even yell and hit. But this…
The Admiral regained his posture in an instant, but the astounding image lingered in his son’s mind’s eye.
“I’m sorry,” Bill repeated in a stronger voice, looked straight at his son and forced a smile. “I know you don’t agree with my vision concerning New Caprica defense - and I haven’t taken the time to convince you. I guess I’ve taken your support for granted because you’re my child. That’s one reason why there were regs concerning families in the service. Of course, now we're in a different reality.” The smile vanished and was replaced with tiredness. He wiped his hand across his face as if wanting to remove the expression - and didn’t quite succeed. “I wanted to change those plans, but now I see it goes deeper. We need to change a lot more. We need to start with ourselves, Lee. Look at us.”
Lee looked at his Old Man. Really looked for the first time in months. He seemed older, his scarred face was wrinkled, hair longer and… he had grown a mustache somewhere along the way. Lee wondered why he hadn’t noticed that before.
“There isn’t going to be a dinner tonight son,” Bill said, reaching to a chair where lay… two pairs of boxing gloves. “Catch!” He threw one pair at his son, who nearly dropped it. A look of disapproval flickered through Admiral’s face. “You can change in the locker room.”
---
Lee was glad to notice he was not more out of shape than his father. Of course, he was not working out as much as before, but he was forcing himself to get up for a morning run almost every day, and to go to the gym at least couple of times a week. There was still too much that was off though.
“Your reflexes suck,” Bill snorted, as Lee was getting himself up from the floor for the tenth time. “Strength is okay, strategy fine too, but you’re slow. Too slow.”
“Well, you’re not so much faster,” Lee countered ironically, without actually making a point - and was met with the reproving gaze of his father. Damn, he couldn’t even argue properly!
“Take five,” the Old Man said, sitting down on the bench and lifting a bottle of water.
“Tired?”
“I’m twice as old as you are.”
Yes, his was a stupid comment; Lee chastised himself again. Sat next to his father.
“Now tell me, is this...” Bill pointed at the mats, where he had laid out his son just a moment ago, “Is this because you’re going easy on your old man? Or perhaps I should go easy on you?”
Lee sighed, and tried to cover his discomfort by drinking more water. What was he supposed to say?
“Being the Commander doesn’t mean you don’t need to be physically active. You do. You have to keep yourself in shape, and this…” Bill waved a glove at his son and Lee understood what his father meant, saying ‘look at us’."
He meant "Lee, look at yourself". He noticed that too – hard not to notice, when that was so large.
“It doesn’t look good,” Bill finished softly.
Lee got it. Got it far too well. His father was trying to be gentle about his getting fat. "Doesn’t look good?" What a polite way to say he was looking like a guzzling pig.
“Okay,” the younger man sprung to his feet. “Come on, let’s box.”
“It doesn’t go away from just one sparring, son. You need to change your attitude…”
“I know what I need to change!” Lee cut in. Oh he knew that, he really did. And he was sure as hell going to.
Bill apparently understood what his son meant. He certainly seemed to have achieved some goal, as his face expressed honest satisfaction the next time he knocked his opponent to the floor.
“Have you and Dualla had a honeymoon?” he said suddenly, helping Lee stand up.
“Honey what?”
“You got married some time ago. I think you two could use some down time.”
Lee just shook his head as he took position and sent a right hook at the Old Man, who, in no old-man-style dodged him and countered cruelly.
“Frak!” Lee cursed, holding his side.
“Maybe you’re tired. Maybe a few days on New Caprica would do you good.”
Lee again could not grasp it. He was a commander, and his wife was an XO. There was too much responsibility at stake to pull this off.
“I know it would take a few arrangements,” the Admiral observed, “but everything can be done. Talk to your wife and let me know what she thinks about it,” he finished, punching at Lee’s cheek bone.
Again Lee didn’t see it coming.
“You’re trying to distract me, aren’t you?” he hissed, pulling himself from the mats.
“Not at all,” Bill replied with a serious expression. “I don’t need to.”
---
Lee returned from Galactica very sore. When Dualla was tending to the most aching spots, he told her about his father’s offer – meaning it more as a joke than anything real. But Dee loved the idea.
“I’m sure Hoshi could handle most of the job. Or maybe your father could send Tigh over here for those few days? How long are we talking about anyway?”
“I don’t know. Haven’t discussed that part of the plan.” Lee got up and stretched his back. “Going to have a shower.”
“Talk to the Admiral,” Dee requested playfully. “We could have some fun.”
Have some fun, right. Lee shook his head again, marveling at how such an irresponsible proposition could cross the Admiral’s mind. Of course Dee was eager to go, but that such an idea came from the Old Man? Relaxing under the warm water, Lee wondered if his father had been down to the planet. He seemed to remember that President Baltar had summoned him once, but had he gone? And for how long? Probably had only seen Colonial One's interior.
The Admiral appeared tired too. Lee couldn’t stop thinking about that short moment when his father had let his guard down. He deserved a break. Perhaps they should go, and then tell him to go in turn? He could meet some old friends - Laura Roslin, Starbuck.
He sure as hell was hoping he wouldn't meet Starbuck while on the surface.
So they would go - he and Dee together, for a honeymoon. That sounded…funny. It might be fun, in fact. Lee stepped out of the shower and smiled at his reflection in the mirror. His smile faded. He was getting used to this new him, but today the sight brought to mind his father’s comment. "Look at us. Look at yourself, Lee.”
He looked. Chubby cheeks, double chin, and below that…frak.
He quickly dried himself and put on his clothes. Hated his body. For some reason he had thought other people wouldn't notice; Dee never mentioned it. But his father’s actions today were proof of how he was regarded by others.
He stood staring in the mirror for a few more minutes, thinking. He was feeling fine. He was able to notice the difference in his mood from a couple of months back and now. Opened the locker and took out the vial of pills that were making him better. And fatter.
And put it right back.
No more.
---
For the first few days he didn’t notice any difference. Still slept well, ate properly, was swamped with paperwork. They agreed with the Admiral that the newlywed couple would go to the surface after the command team came up with some basic ideas for the defense plan. Then Lee would see if people on the ground had any suggestions, maybe built provisional shelters in case the planet was nuked.
While they were working on the plans Lee argued more and more fiercely with Tigh and Kat – something that startled even his father. But then, both Tigh and Kat were annoying to no end. Finally, on the day that they reached some vague idea of what should and could be done, Lee managed to kick his father’s ass in the ring. He was as happy as a child. But then his Dad managed to spoil his pleasure by reminding him of the trip to New Caprica.
Lee knew he should be delighted. He was going to have a few days off, time to think, relax, enjoy. But it wasn’t what he wanted. Again nobody had asked what he wanted! His father had an idea, Dee seemed thrilled by it, and they automatically assumed that he was thrilled as well. Nobody had bothered to ask him.
If they so desperately wanted to go to the planet, why wouldn’t they go themselves? Lee restlessly paced the length of his office back and forth. Reports, read and signed, lay in a neat pile on top of his desk, Dee was in CIC, about to finish her shift in an hour. He should be packing. But couldn’t bring himself to begin.
Each time he opened the locker and saw himself in the mirror, he knew he’d hate Kara to see him like this. Not that he was going to meet her down there. He wasn't. But she might accidentally…
He didn’t want to go there at all. Had no idea what he would do with all that free time on his hands. The Admiral seemed eager to go though. They had spoken the other day, that if everything went smooth, Bill would be the next to go, and he seemed content with the idea. So why not now? Why wait?
Not waiting, Lee reached for the receiver, and requested to speak with Galactica Actual.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started. “Why don’t you go tomorrow instead of me?”
“It’s not how it was planned,” the Admiral sounded taken aback.
“It’s not a big deal, you won’t have to send Tigh here,” Lee explained quickly. “I’ll take care of my ship, and he’ll deal with yours. Guess it can be done?”
“Guess it can,” the older Adama supposed. “But this trip was to be a vacation for you, and…”
“Well I don’t want vacation,” Lee cut in quickly. “But I think you do. I know you do, I saw the look on your face when you told me to send your regards to Laura Roslin.”
“Lee, I can go on the next tour…”
“Why wait? If you want to go and I don’t, then why wait?”
“You need a break, I can tell that.”
“But not like this!” Lee was getting annoyed. Why can’t anyone understand? “I don’t want to go! Why can’t I have something I want for a change?”
“I thought you…”
“Well, so you thought! Now stop thinking and listen: I don’t want to go! Hear me? I want to stay on Pegasus and that’s that.”
Lee heard his father sigh on the other side. “Well, I guess it could be arranged,” the Old Man said cautiously. And after a moment he added, “What does Dee think about it?”
The hard part would be telling Dee he wasn’t going with her. But he would handle her – and that was what he told his father, before hastily hanging up.
Dee came in an hour later and interrupted him rearranging books on the shelf.
“I can’t remember when those quarters had been so tidy,” she observed, slightly amused. “And you finished with today’s reports?” She brushed her fingers on the pile, shifting a few top sheets. Then she looked up at him. “Why aren’t you packing?”
“You know I hate…” he started, and then he remembered. “I'm not going,” he said.
“What? Why?” she appeared confused and disappointed. “I was really looking forward to it…”
“Well, you're going, just not me…” He licked his lips nervously. She scrutinized him with her green eyes, her brow furrowed. Before she had a chance to ask any questions, Lee started explaining quickly. “This was my father’s idea all along. He started talking about it and thought it would be fun for me. For us. But I didn’t want that.” He absently straightened a fold on her uniform. “Then you were so eager when I told you, and we started planning it so quickly that I didn’t even… I couldn’t…”
Dee inhaled and wanted to respond, but he quickly put his fingers on her lips, stopping her from it.
“I’ve never wanted to go,” he continued. “I want to stay, please don’t push me. But you can go. There’s no need for you to not have a vacation. I think the Admiral will go too; I spoke to him already. I think it will do you good. Do both of us good. You’ll rest, and I ...” he gestured towards the desk, averted his eyes from the messed-up pile of documents and held back the need to straighten it right away, “I got over the slowness problem as you see. I can take care of the ship by myself for a few days.”
“It was to be our honeymoon,” she cut in, when he paused to take a breath.
He had known it wouldn’t be easy.
“That’s just a name,” he reasoned. “Do we need a honeymoon? Come on Dee, it’s just some old tradition. What we really need is a few days off, and this way each of us would have it how we want. If I go, it won't be relaxing.”
“Then perhaps I should stay too?” she asked cautiously - and with concern.
“If you want to… but you don’t have to, I know you’ve planned to visit some people, you’ve been looking forward to it, you said as much. It’s okay by me.”
Dee just looked at him, not convinced at all. “I’ll think about it.” She freed herself from his arms and went to change into her leisure clothes.
Lee sighed. It wouldn’t be bad if she stayed. Wouldn’t be bad at all, but… he felt guilty robbing her of well-deserved r&r. He straightened the papers on his desk. “Dad went into a lot of trouble arranging this trip for us,” he said softly.
“I know that,” Dee replied from the other room. “But it’s you who changed his mind.”
“I’m saying you don’t have to not go,” Lee stated firmly, walking in after her.
She was standing there, half naked, folding her uniform. His wife, his beautiful wife.
“But I'll miss you…” he whispered, coming up behind and stroking the soft skin of her shoulders, “if you go,” into her hair.
She turned to him with a smile. “Promise?” she asked… unbuttoning his tunic.
---
t.b.c.


Chapter Twelve
Tags:
 
Leave a comment
 
( Post a new comment )