I messed up the timeline in this chapter - moved Adama's Big Speech About Earth to after "33". Hope it's not a big deal.

 

Grouse – Chapter Four

CRISIS OF TRUST

---

Through the window of the liner’s cockpit, Zak saw basestars launching raiders, vipers springing into fight again, ships flashing out of the sky one by one, and then – after Colonial One had jumped – flashing in on the other side. The last one was the Battlestar, after a long wait. Or so it seemed to the apprehensive young man.

“Give me Galactica,” The President’s voice startled him – he had no idea at which point she had entered. Colonial One’s pilot established the connection and she cut straight to the matter. “Commander, what was that? How did they find us?”

“I have no idea, sir,” Commander Adama grumbled. “But I recommend we stay on Condition One for a longer period now. We must be prepared in case they find us again.”

“Of course…” she tried to cut in, but he didn’t even notice.

“If you don’t mind, sir, I must debrief my crew now,” he stated and hung up, before she managed to confirm.

Laura Roslin blinked a few times at the receiver, then handed it over to the pilot and turned to Zak

“Mr. Adama, I was told it was not possible to track the ship through the FTL jump?”

Zak hesitated. Physics and astrometry were not exactly his finest branches of learning back in the Academy. So he just tried to appear smarter, “Well, because it’s not.”

“Theoretically?”

“Theoretically.”

“What about practically?”

At that, Zak was stuck. “Honestly, I don’t know. I’m not a scientist…”

But Roslin’s face brightened up unexpectedly. “We have a scientist on board!”

She jumped into action. Got out of the cockpit, pulling young Adama with her.

“Doctor Baltar?” she called, looking around, and as she spotted the scientist, she asked straight ahead. “How could they track us through the FTL jump?”

Gaius Baltar rose from his seat and gazed at her, flabbergasted. “Uh, I don’t know,” he stammered. Then looked sharply to his side, bowed, then shyly gazed back at President Roslin. “No, I… know, however, that I can find that out, of course. I can, obviously. If I have enough data, or even very little data, as a matter of fact, I can extrapolate various possibilities--”

“Then do so, doctor” Roslin cut in impatiently. “Whatever you need, just ask Mr. Adama, or Commander Adama on the Galactica. We need to know what we are dealing with, and how to prevent the cylons from finding us in the future. Meanwhile, Mr. Keikeya…” She walked away quickly, Billy, like a shadow, right behind her, and Zak followed them with his eyes only. He was apparently stuck with the nutty doctor.

“Of course I need…” the scientist murmured to himself, and the younger man stared at him. Baltar stared back, quite unfriendly. “I need to know their exact position…and our exact position at the moment of the attack. And please give me all the calculations from the Galactica, and perhaps I would need to know when and how the coordinates were transmitted, that might be helpful too. Yes, we need all that. I’ll analyze the information and hopefully will reach some conclusion that will help us to get the answer.” He sharply looked up. “Mr. Adama? You’re the Commander’s son?”

“That’s right.”

“Get to work then. Contact your father, and bring me everything I need.”

Zak left quickly and went straight back to the pilots’ cockpit. There at least he felt relatively familiar. After calling Galactica he was connected with Lt. Gaeta, not his father, who was busy elsewhere. The disappointment was only slight, and Zak remembered his mother’s old saying – “No news is better than bad news.” That with regard to his brother, and his girlfriend. Or ex-girlfriend. Or whoever she was now.

He didn’t care about either of them anyway.

Nor did he get any data from Lt. Gaeta before the cylons jumped in again.

---

Within the next three hours the cylons showed up six times.

“Doctor Baltar is analyzing our data back on Colonial One” Lt. Gaeta reported. “He noticed a pattern. They appear exactly thirty-three minutes after our jump. He noticed that two or three jumps ago, and it seems consistent. He thinks they--”

“Set our clocks running then,” Commander Adama interrupted. He wasn’t into listening to the details of the crazy doctor’s theories, didn’t have time for it.

“I already did.”

Adama left Gaeta to indulge himself in Doctor Baltar’s greatness and proceeded to more burning issues.

“How are the pilots holding up?” he asked his CAG – and son.

“Getting twitchy. They’d like to know when this is going to end?”

Bill Adama shot the Captain a glare. What kind of question was that?

“Motivate them.” he hissed. Of course, Lee was young. Too young to be a CAG for another few years, but unusual circumstances required unusual measures. Lee needed to grow up.

“Yes, sir.”

Good that he understood it too.

“And, sir?…” Adama turned and gazed at his subordinate questioningly. “You spoke to Colonial One?”

“Couple of minutes ago. Why?”

“How is Zak doing?”

Adama squinted. He really had more important matters on his plate, than such a nonsense. “I spoke to the President, Captain. I don’t have time to babysit Zak. Or you. I thought you understood that.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Then carry on.”

The Commander moved on to the next task on his list. Time was running out, minutes were ticking by. He was aware that the cylons were attacking every half an hour – now he knew it was every thirty-three minutes. He had fifteen left to make sure everything on his Battlestar was in perfect condition for the upcoming battle. Hopefully the genius Doctor would soon come up with some idea to get them all out of this mess.

---

“Has he got any fresh ideas?” Billy asked, chewing on a sandwich.

Zak just shook his head, but it was more out of exasperation that there was no food left, than an answer to Billy’s question.

“That the last sandwich?”

Billy stopped in the middle of a bite. Gazed at the snack in his hand, his mouth full. “Wamt shum?” held it towards his colleague, chewed, swallowed. “Want some?”

Zak hesitated, but the sucking sensation in his stomach made a decision for him. He took the food, sat next to Billy and bit it hungrily. If someone told him two months ago that he’d be sharing a sandwich with Billy Keikeya, he’d laughed at them. Now they were the only two left of their year. Maybe of the whole Plato’s Law Academy.

That meant they had to make friends.

“Baltar thinks they are eavesdropping on our transmissions” Zak said. “So they know where we’re planning to jump; they get our coordinates even before we jump. He tries to figure out some other way to jam the transmissions, because they probably override military jamming. Another theory is that they are somewhere in the Fleet, on one of those ships, but he doesn’t know how to verify it at this point. Anyway he thinks that we need to reduce the communication and transport between the ships, even though even right now it’s almost zero. Somehow I think none of this is going to work; this is such a mess. When have we last slept?”

He suddenly stopped. He didn’t even know he needed to talk so much, doctor Baltar was rambling constantly making less and less sense; Zak needed to sort it all out.

“Yesterday, probably” Billy replied wearily. “Something has to work.”

“Right.”

“And if we don’t maintain transport, then you’ve really eaten the last sandwich. We were going to get food supplies from Cloud Nine in the next cycle.”

Zak stared at the last bite. Last bite. “Want?” held it towards Billy.

Billy took it hesitantly, shaking his head. “This is surreal.”

---

Cylons came back two hundred and thirty nine times. And they were coming no more. With the destruction of the Olimpic Carrier, that threat faded away.

But somehow neither Starbuck nor Apollo felt relieved.

She hadn’t said anything for the remainder of the CAP, during post flight check-ups and on their way back from the hangar deck to the bunk room. But her words, “It’s a civilian ship!” still rung in the Captain’s ears. Her words, “Lee, what if you’re wrong?” Did she blame him? Did she think he made a mistake? Apparently so.

He was used to that, used to making mistakes. But never so far had one his mistakes cost so many lives. Presumably two thousand innocent civilians. People who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. After the Fleet had left thousands on non-FTL ships on the first day of the attacks, after billions had been killed in the Twelve Colonies, the weight on the Captain’s conscience was becoming too much.

Talking to his father didn’t help much. Commander Adama had just taken the responsibility on himself: “I gave the order” he’d said. And instead of relieving the young CAG, the comment only made it worse. Even though Lee was aware that there were bigger parties making decisions, and putting himself in a position of such importance was narcissistic – which was something his mother had taught him to avoid – he couldn’t shake off the recurring visions of Olimpic Carrier’s destruction.

Even the few hours of solid sleep didn’t ease up the tension. On the next day, when the whole crew and representatives of the civilians gathered in the hangar deck for the ceremony held in honor of those who died in the last days, Lee Adama kept thinking about the two thousands killed by his own hand. He hardly listened to his Old Man talking about some old myth about Thirteenth Colony, automatically joined the mantra “So say we all." He thought only about going back to the pilots’ Ready Room and modifying the schedule. His mind had been too fuzzy last night, and he needed to check to see if he had set the pilots on CAPs in right order and--

“Captain Apollo” a soft voice caught his attention. He spun around and faced smiling President Roslin in the company of her tall aide, a few reporters lurking nearby.

“Madam President,” he couldn’t help but smile in return. He was genuinely happy to see her. Of course, during those hard five days his thoughts had been were mostly on his brother, but he was worried about her too. It was odd, how close to her he felt after those first hours they had spent spent together. Almost like a mother, though different in every aspect. “I’m glad to see you’re okay.”

“I’m glad to see you, too. And I would like to thank you for relieving the Fleet of the threat that Olimpic Carrier could bring to us. You saved us all, again” she spoke in a formal tone, extending her hand in a congratulation gesture.

Lee accepted it, feeling his smile fade, though he tried to put on a brave face. There were people around, and she was, of course, the President. He had to look appropriately.

“I’m proud to…to be able to serve you, sir” he stammered.

She nodded in acknowledgement, but squinted at him sideways. It was like she could see right through his façade, could see his doubts and fears.

“Could you leave us alone?” she turned to Billy and the press. “Let’s take a walk, Captain.” Oh, she wasn’t one to screw around, and cut straight to the core as soon as they were out of earshot. “I know what a hard decision that is to live with, for all of us. I'm struggling with it myself, frankly.”

Lee’s heart caught. For a moment he couldn’t make out the right words to respond to such honesty. Then he decided to return the sentiment.

“I--I can't stop thinking about it.”

“You know.” She stopped and faced him, and he had no choice but to stop too, and look at her. He had to lean in closely, because she was speaking in a very soft voice. “Because you shouldn’t. We should think about it, remember. We may say that we’re sure of what we did, we’re sure we made the right choice. But it is imperative for a leader to remember and learn from the mistakes even if we can't admit to them publicly. I’ve watched you today. And I remembered…President Adar. He made mistakes too. People got killed. He never admitted he felt his choices were wrong in public, but he kept the names of those people in his desk drawer. To remember. And learn.”

Lee swallowed hard, when he realized she waited for him to say something. “Do you think we made a mistake?”

“I don't know,” she smiled sadly again. She didn’t attempt to make him feel less guilty, but somehow she did just that. Then she reached to her pocket. “I don't have a desk drawer yet, but I have this.” She pulled out a small piece of paper. On it there were two words, “Olimpic Carrier”.

Lee looked into her eyes, and understood precisely what she was trying to tell him. Then she simply nodded, turned around and left him standing there, the reporters tailing her again. That was all the privacy they were given – the leaders of humanity – and she managed to use every second of it. The Captain’s head was spinning, but somehow his spirit felt lighter.

He looked around. The hangar deck was full of people, most of them still appeared exhausted and shaded, but hopeful somehow. They were talking, some were praying, gathered in a circle around the Priestess, others were singing. The CAG didn’t even know his pilots well enough to join their merriment. He searched for his father in the crowd, wanting to talk to him, to share this renewed hope and faith, but then he thought the Old Man would not understand the complexity of the President’s philosophy. They’d talked last night and everything that needed to be said – had been said. “I gave the order – it’s my responsibility.” Nothing to dwell upon.

That reminded the Captain’s about his job, about the boards in the Ready Room. Rosters and schedules were something he could put his mind into and ease the tension. Sighing, he left the crowded hangar deck and hurried to the upper level of the battlestar.

Pilots’ Ready Rom was not empty. The Captain was startled to find two people snuggled in the dark corner, talking fervently in subdued voices.

“Oh, frak you!” the woman suddenly shouted, and Lee recognized the voice. He’d recognize it anywhere.

Kara.

And the guy, who emerged from the shadow and strode towards the exit was none else but his brother. Lee had seen him earlier down in the hangar deck, but Zak had turned away then, presumably busy with the presidential entourage, and Lee hadn’t been in the mood for a conversation either. But now, seeing his little bro come to a halt at the sight of him, Lee realized there was more to Zak’s avoidance than preoccupation with a new job.

Zak was angry and in turmoil.

Kara stepped right behind the younger man, her eyes wary. “Lee, hi.”

They were having trouble. That much was obvious from the moment Lee returned to Galactica. Hell, it had been obvious for months, but now, that they got stuck together in the world that suddenly shrunk to fifty thousand people and just above fifty spaceships, resolving the troubled relationship was that much harder.

“Can’t you just work things out?” Lee asked in spite of himself. He would do just about anything to help his baby brother, that’s how it had always been. But in this he was helpless. And it wasn’t even because of Kara Thrace, though with her everything was out of the ordinary.

“You know,” Zak snorted. “Coming from you, this is just--”

“I know.” Yeah, Zak had always had the upper hand when it came to women; he’d had some kind of a gift. A charm. Lee was the last person to give him advice in that area.

Zak squinted, gritted his teeth, and brushed past Lee in a rapid, angry move.

“Hey!” Kara yelled after him.

“I should find the President,” he replied without even turning back. “I got a job now, I should be responsible or something.”

“Frak!” She shot Lee a glance, and then hurried after her boyfriend.

There was no point in him interrupting, besides he had work to do. But he wished he could spend a moment with Zak, he wished the kid would at least talk, share his burdens, like he used to when they were younger.

---

“Zak, frakking wait!” Kara called a few times, until he finally stopped.

“What do you want?” His eyes bore holes in her as he turned. “Work it out? Why don’t you work it out with him?”

“Are you jealous?” she asked incredulously, though she guessed... no, scratch that – she knew he was. “Of Lee?”

Zak shook his head and started turning away, but she grabbed his arm.

“You’re an ass! A moronic ass! Gods, so I was crying about losing him, but frak! He's been my friend for years, I had rights to. But you? You can turn everything to be about you, can’t you? About you getting hurt, or--”

A loud explosion cut into her words. They both gasped as the whole ship shook with the hit wave, and they found each in the others’ arms.

Kara held her breath, as Zak scanned her face for any sign of emotion, passion. She grabbed his head and pressed his lips to hers in a quick kiss, then pushed him away.

“I gotta check what that was” she gasped. And fled.

She had no idea what she was doing, and why. She hated when her life was getting too complicated, perhaps she should let the Adama brothers sort this out themselves. If Zak wanted to confront Lee – fine! If he wanted to break up – fine! She would just flow with the current, like she always had.

---

The detonation was presumably caused by the explosives placed in the water tanks by a saboteur. Who this saboteur might be was not spoken aloud, but Zak spent enough time with Doctor Baltar to be aware that cylons looked like humans now, and that they might be hiding in the Fleet.

But before Zak managed to voice his thought, the Commander grunted:

“Everyone except for Col. Tigh, Capt. Adama, and Dr. Baltar are now released”

Of course. The younger son was out of it as always – a child, a civilian, whatever the excuse. Zak wasn’t even surprised, or angry, at least until his eyes met Lee’s. The superiority in his brother’s gaze flipped something inside him.

Gods, he needed to do something to prove to them both how much he was worth, even not being military. Wasn’t very successful with the President so far, it had probably something to do with that “first impression” thing. He had hardly made a good first impression back then in another world, before the attacks, even in the department he was assigned to. Especially compared to the combed and ironed Billy Keikeya and other interns.

He just had to try harder. He had to put Lee and Dad, and even Kara behind, and put all his efforts into this. Into becoming a better aide than Billy Keikeya, himself.

---

t.b.c.